Reinaldo - Venezuela


VENEZUELA

 

     Venezuela is located in the northern part of South America. This is not an interesting opener. Your reader probably already knows this. Due to this special location, Venezuela is distinguished by its warm weather and abundant vegetation. Venezuela has many interesting characteristics that I could not list all of them in this essay. However, I am just going to mention three of them: (1) the Caribbean coast, (2) the “Gran Sabana”, and (3) the oil. You need a stronger thesis statement. You need to develop your introduction from general to specific, not changing the topic.

 

     Venezuela's northern is bordered by the Caribbean Sea, where beautiful beaches are found.  Also this area is well-know for its warm weather all year. Is your topic going to be beaches or warm weather? As many countries bordered by the Caribbean Sea, Venezuela has many beaches from the north-east to north-west. One of the famous beaches in Venezuela is “Morrocoy” which is located in the north-east of the Falcon state. This beach is famous for its14 small islands that are called “Cayos”. In the "cayos" tourists can enjoy them just renting boats in the shore of the beach. The "cayos" are well-known for its beautiful sunsets, and its white sand and warm water. Also, there are exclusive areas for fishing. The weather is almost perfect because it is warm with cool winds that make it feels like a soft summer, neither hot nor cold.  

 

      Another main characteristic Main characteristic of what? Is the Gran Sabana a characteristic?? is “La Gran Sabana”. You don't tell your reader what the Gran Sabana is?  It is located in southern part of Venezuela in the Bolivar state, close to the Brazil boundary. There people can find the oldest geological formation of the earth. This big area is covered by tall trees that offer a natural environment and admirable landscape. Also “Los Tepuyes” one of the oldest geological formations is found in "La Sabana". Tepuyes are high mountains with a rocky constitution of the grounds. It is protected by the national park called Canaima. What is the point of this paragraph? You need a more informative topic sentence.

 

    Venezuela is also well-know by the oil production. Until ART 1900's, the country was known as an agricultural country. However, after the oil field Barroso No. 2 was discovered, Venezuela’s history has changed. Due to this new activity, people that worked in the agricultural field began to move to the cities where they  established a new type of business related to "oil". You mentioned a new type of business.  What is this new type of business? This contributed to develop the country's economy. Venezuela is one of the principal oil producers in South America.

 

 

    In conclusion, Venezuela is a beautiful country with a rich diversity of places such as beaches, mountains, and particular characteristics like the oil. Those places and natural resources become Venezuela a place to visit and to be discovered. 

 

 COMMENTS:-

 

Seble -

1.  Can you please explain when you mean Venezula is distinguished by its warm weather? Is it warm all year round or during the summer time.

 

As some countries located in South America, Venezuela doesn't have strong seasons like winter, spring, fall and summer. Venezuela has a regular warm weather during the whole year (63F-83F). However, it presents from December to May a dry weather. Also, a cool weather can be found from December to January. April-September is very warm, and it's usually rainy during May-December.

 

2.  Please give us example when for what you said this new activity established several types of business like what?

 

 Before discovering the first oil field, Venezuela was well-know as a agricultural country. Its principal activity was exporting products like Cacao, Cofee and Sugar Cane. The production activity changed when Venezuela became an oil producer. The country started to import the majority of agricultural  products, and focused in the oil production and exportation.