The KennedyCenter
By Seble and Khabat
I. Introduction
The Kennedy center was created in Washington, DC to fulfill President Kennedy’s strong idea in cultural achievement as a critical part of human development. Delete because it is not necessary. It's clutter. Visiting Kennedy center was a learning experience on the performing arts. Before visiting the Kennedy Center, we assumed that this center reflected the American culture, but instead it is an art place for all nations. During the tour, we saw flags from various countries, which declared that the Kennedy Center is a place for worldwide gathering and appreciation of art and culture. The center has two levels; : Use a colon to introduce a list the Foyer main level and the Roof Terrace level. Delete because it is not clear and not necessary: Due to the center’s broad physical characteristics, Delete - Don't mention yourselves: the writers of this essay mainly focus on the Concert Hall, Opera House, and Millennium Stages. You could write: The most popular stages are the Concert Hall, the Opera House, and the Millennium Stages.
II. Physical Description
You don't have a topic sentence. The Concert Hall is DELETE: considered to be the largest performance theater in the Kennedy Center. The hall has an outstanding sound system and different levels of seats. Delete: The room It is decorated by with 11 crystal chandeliers, which is were a gift given by Norway. During our visit, we discovered that the concert hall is a home to the national symphony Orchestra. The second largest theater in the Center with fewer seats than the concert hall is the Opera House. Like the concert hall, the Opera house is decorated by crystal chandelier and four matching candle holders, which was were gifts a gift from Ireland. Musical arts such as Ballet and Opera are performed in this house. We were told that annual top performers are honored in this place. The last one is the Millennium Stage. It has two stages in both Grand Foyer ends. Selected groups from all the 50 states perform in on this stage. Some of these shows performed by the selected groups are open to the public with out any charges. The idea of the shows being free is to encourage people and introduce them to the performing arts.
Bust of John F. Kennedy in Grand Foyer
III. Social Description
Delete: This is not an effective topic sentence. As described above,the John F. Kennedy center for the performing arts is one of the busiest centers with attractive features. Your topic sentence should say something about people. This is the SOCIAL paragraph. We observed tourists dressed in casual clothes from different states and foreign countries with different age group and gender. During their visit their interaction was mainly based on the center's lovely atmosphere, admiring different activities and of the performer's capacity. In addition students from different schools of the surrounding areas participated in different event to get understanding of the performing arts and reinforce their classrooms curricula. We also saw different artists dressed bright and colorful performance clothes. On top of that employees and volunteers in the Kennedy center were actively helped helping tourist and students by leading the tours of the center's theaters, artworks, by providing information, selling tickets and other several duties. In general the social interactions have a positive contribution to the physical environment.
IV. Conclusion
After visiting the John Kennedy Center, we concluded that the center offers various forms of artistical performances for all ages and nationality. Its outstanding building together with the beautiful chandeliers makes the center a unique monument. Its social environment equally dominates the lovely physical environment. Lastly, the nice Roof Terraces offers a great view of the DC surroundings, the Potomac, and neighboring state of Virginia. Since The Kennedy Center was such a learning experience, we recommend that everyone should visit it. You really don't analyze the connection between the physical and the social. Your concluding paragraph was supposed to offer an analysis.
Kennedy Center across Potomac River
Outline
I. Introduction
II. Physical Description
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Opera House
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Concert Hall
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Millennium Stage
III. Social Description
IV. Conclusion
COMMENTS:
Dr. Meloni - Your physical description sounds like a guidebook. It is not personal. Use transitions in the Social Description paragraph. You did a good job mentioning several different groups of people in the Kennedy Center.
Dr. Weasenforth - I'm happy to see that you clearly pointed out the mission of the Kennedy Center. Tell me though, what makes the Center such a "magnificent" edifice? Besides their beauty, of what significance are all the gifts of chaneliers, etc.? Why no mention of the great halls draped with flags? Do you have any photos to share?
Comments (7)
Anonymous said
at 11:33 am on Oct 12, 2007
I think that you should have a topic sentence and controlling idea in introduction. When you describe the physical environment, you should notice transition.
Anonymous said
at 4:07 pm on Oct 12, 2007
I really like your physical description, but the main problem was that there wasn't any transitional words. It is very important to have that!WHat about the conclusion?there wasn't any!
Anonymous said
at 7:33 pm on Oct 12, 2007
your assay is very interesting, but i wanted to know if you forgot the conclusion. you did a great job.
Anonymous said
at 4:44 pm on Oct 29, 2007
The Kennedy Center is truly a magnificent site in DC. You've included a lot of very helpful details. Even if I hadn't seen the Center, I would still like to see it based on your description. I think that part of the problems noted in the previous comments is due to the need for paragraphing. You need to break up the longer paragraphs to highlight the main ideas of each section.
It's ironic that the Kennedy Center memorializes JFK in a much grander way than does the Kennedy Memorial in Dallas, the site of his assasination. But there are perhaps some good reasons. Dallas couldn't match the federal government's funding. I'm sure that Dallas wanted to play down the fact that JFK was killed here. Also, Dallas was little more than a "cow town" in the 1960s.
Anonymous said
at 8:44 pm on Oct 29, 2007
I like your essey, but I think you need to and/change for more interesting hook in introduction- you need to catch the attention! And I would chainge conclusion. Check also some errors. I think you did a good job!!! I would like to visit The Kennedy Center!
Anonymous said
at 9:59 pm on Oct 29, 2007
You have really make me to have a picture of what the kennedy center look like.But i think the objectives of why the center was constructed at the introdution is not very important. That can be some where in the body of the essay.
Secondly, if you can forcus on how to capture your readers interest that will be great . I know you have already done some of this in one of your paragaps but give more light on this. Talk about your personal experience, does this remind you of JF Kennedy or what do you think most stricking to you. You have done a great job so far just do the finishing touches and all will be fine.
Anonymous said
at 9:48 am on Oct 30, 2007
I am impress with your essay. but will like to make suggest that you should take out the detail description of the Kennedy center at the introduction and put in at the body of the essay. Secondly your essay can be more interested if you talk a little about your personal experienceand how it is link to the JF kennedy. Reading your essay reminds me of the first time I went to dawn town Dallas to see the place where he was shot.
Just fix this areas mention and your essay will be great.
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