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The National Zoo: Outline

Page history last edited by PBworks 14 years, 1 month ago

 THE NATIONAL ZOO

 

By Zoryana,Reinaldo and Othmane

 

(Front entrance of the zoo)

 

 

The caption here

 

or here

 

 

INTRODUCTION

 

     The zoo is a public place for people of all ages. The National Zoo is located at 3001 Connecticut Avenue NW, Washington DC. It easy to to get the zoo because it is close to the Metro Station Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan in the red line. The zoo is open every day of the year, except Christmas eve.  The admission is FREE! Also, Why Also?? I would like to share the information that my group composed of Reinaldo, Zoryana and me observed and wrote. We will provide informations on the entrance, visitor center. Furthermore, we will explain the significant part that the pandas at the National Zoo. You need a more effective thesis statement. Don't use expressions like We would like to share - We will provide information - etc.  You could say something like this: When we visited the National Zoo, we were particularly impressed with the main entrance, the Visitor Center, and the Panda House.

 

Why did you choose the entrance as one of the features to describe? You really don't say much about it.

 

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

 ( Othmane on the front entrance of the zoo)

 

You don't have a topic sentence for this paragraph. Finding the visitor center or the entrance at the Smithsonian National zoo is easier than you might actually think.As a matter of fact, the visitor center is located not far from the entrance. There is all needed information inside of the building: maps, brochures and guides. These will help visitors find the desired place and see all the animals without loosing their way. In the visitor center there is a little shop with stuffed animals. That is a real amusant for kids. You can find restrooms further inside of the building. Concerning the entrance the Zoo have two entrances for people and cars at the East side of the Zoo by Rock Creeck Park. The first one is off Rock Creeck parkway and the other entrance is located at the intersection of Harvard street. The visitor center provides with Zoo maps, brochures about animals. Not far from the visitor entrance there are water fountains available to everyone. Also, there is a bookstore for adults and children. The bookstore sells books about animals such as Pandas, tigers and lions. When you keep going a little it further there is a Panda plaza close to the Elephant house. The plaza sells food and it is possible to rent strollers. Children can purchase popcorn and soda. Past, the Panda plaza there is a Mane restaurant near by the police station. The restaurant offer snacks and people can sit down at the terrace and enjoy their lunch. Equally important, the zoo is open everyday from 10 a.m to 6 p.m. The Zoo isn't all about buying stuffs and eating it is about animals interaction. The Panda as a matter of fact is the star of the zoo. This paragraph is not well organized. Begin with a topic sentence. Then describe each of the three places and only these three places in turn. Don't jump around from one place to another. Don't add details that don't relate to these three places.

 

SOCIAL DESCRIPTION 

 

    This is a very strange statement. Would it be a zoo without animals? Without the animals the zoo wouldn't be as fun. Especially with the pandas, they are the soul of the zoo. We were amazed by the behavior of the pandas. Why however? However, the building that attracted the visitors most of all was the Panda house. When were at the Zoo there was a guide whom told us that the three pandas that we saw we from China. And of of them was name Tian Tian it was a gift from the Chinese Government to the American government. Most of the time they are lazy, shy and spend their whole day at rest. They love to play. For example, we remember Tian playing with a little ball and the other pandas took a white plastic and teared it up. Were  very surprised because Tian weight only 160 pounds for a panda. Normally, they are corpulent and heavy. In total, there are five ? pandas and sadly one of them died last summer so this is why they brought Tian from China.

 

HEADING

 

    In conclusion, we had an exceptional experience at the Zoo. It is truth that there are a lot of animals to see but the most valuable one in our opinions is the Panda. They are unique in the sense of their friendship with the visitors. The Panda suprizes visitors with it's inocent bahavior. It's quiet and doesn't seem to be harmful like all the other kinds of bears. Panda has a great influence on people especially kids. You can see a lot of smiling faces around the panda room. Visitors like to be near the panda or even touch it! If you want to visit the zoo of Washingtond DC be ready to walk a lot! There is always something to do, you never get bored. The animals are the souls of the Zoo without them it wouldn't be so much fun. That is why people should respect and care for animals. Maybe we do not have the same evolution as them but they are highly intelligent. The visitor center emphasize the importance of the panda because they sell books,stuffed animals about them.

 

(Panda in his house) Don't use parentheses around your captions

 

 

 

 

(Othmane)  Where?                        (Reinaldo) Where?

 

 

(Zoryana)  Where?

 

 

COMMENTS:

 

Dr. Meloni - Your physical and social descriptions should be more closely related. You have made interesting comments about communication between people and animals. It is not clear whether you like the concept of the zoo or you don't.

 

Seble - Please add some points on your physical description to make it clear and detailed.  the final analysis has to reflect your main thesis it should relate to your introduction.

 

Dr. Weasenforth - I have yet to see the Dallas Zoo, but I have seen the National Zoo, both zoos in Chicago, and the San Diego Zoo.  Your description is true of ALL these zoos.  What distinguishes the National Zoo from all others?

 

 

Comments (6)

Anonymous said

at 2:30 am on Oct 29, 2007

i think i need some information about location or hours..
because i don't know it's general things but it's necessary.

Anonymous said

at 8:54 am on Oct 29, 2007

I like your pictures guys! I should have downloaded mine. I think it's too late..

Anonymous said

at 4:53 pm on Oct 29, 2007

Zoryana and Othmane, this is a fairly well developed essay. It brings back fond memories of my family's visit of the National Zoo several years ago when we lived in Fairfax and our children were still young.

Thanks for adding information about the pandas! As I pointed out in my previous note, much of what you write is true of many other zoos, but the pandas certainly distinguish the National Zoo from all others. If I were you, I would have made the discussion of the pandas more prominent.

Anonymous said

at 6:18 pm on Oct 29, 2007

Hi Zoryana and Othmane!!
I found your essay really interesting. What I really enjoyed about it was the way you described the relationship between the animals and people. Also I really liked when you mentioned your personal history.
In terms of organization, some of the sentences don't sound correct. You should proofread your sentences. I think that you should add information about how many species they have in the zoo and what animals they have that most of the zoos don't have. The graphics are really nice and cute.

Anonymous said

at 6:18 pm on Oct 29, 2007

1. Did you find this essay interesting?
Yes, I found this essay interesting. I like the way you described each point of the zoo.

2. Is the essay well organized? If not, suggest ways to improve it.
This essay is pretty organized but you have some grammar mistakes. You also need to add some information about location, hours, and the entrance fee.

3. Is there anything in the essay that is not clear to you? If so, ask the writer for clarification.
I don’t have any question.

4. Does the essay have graphics? (It should have a minimum of one.) Comment on the effectiveness of the graphic/graphics.
I think you need some more pictures about the zoo. You can publish some pictures as reference in each part of your description.

5. Make any additional comments that the student will find useful. Remember he/she wants to get a good grade and is depending on you to help!
In general, your essay looks good. You just need to check on your words choice and grammar. For an example, you wrote,” The building that were were more attracted by was the Panda house Black and white Bear was in a bigcage with glass walls isolated from other animals”

Anonymous said

at 3:44 pm on Nov 1, 2007

You have some very nice photos. You need to integrate them, however, into your essay more smoothly. Give each one a caption and place it near the reference to it in the text.

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